


Reaching the Plateau

by NeurotropicAgentX



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: An Untriumphant Arrival on Earth, Existential Despair IN SPAAACE!, Immortality, Lethal Violence, Other, Rare Pair, Speciesism, Villains, Xeno, and its consequences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:26:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeurotropicAgentX/pseuds/NeurotropicAgentX
Summary: Freeza succeeded in wishing for immortality on Namek. Mostly, this makes things worse for him.





	Reaching the Plateau

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to my editor for all her invaluable assistance.

Freeza floated through the vacuum of space and _seethed_. He was immortal. He’d found the Dragon Balls, made the wish and still, _still_ he’d lost the fight against that horrifying monkey. The immortality meant that his body had regrown its lower half. It had taken days, as far as he could tell. It was hard keeping track of time when he was floating in space, surrounded by the remains of the Namek planet. 

Thankfully, he hadn’t been conscious for most of the regrowth. Even before his wish Freeza could _survive_ hard vacuum, but the experience involved a deeply unpleasant freeze/thaw cycle as his body periodically shut down and woke him up just long enough to gauge his surroundings.

///

Freeza woke up again. He was still floating in vacuum. His surroundings hadn’t changed much. The chunks of the Namek homeworld had gotten sparser, but that was it.

///

Freeza awoke. He had no concept of how much time had passed. There was more debris around him than before and most of it seemed to be rock and metal junk.

///

Freeza awoke. There was a scouter floating within reach. He snatched it and affixed it to his head. It was a piece of junk. The comms were completely dead and only its data store and timekeeping functions seemed operational. According to the scouter’s chrono, months had passed. Freeza shivered. If he hadn’t been immortal he’d have been dead by now. Not even his superior body could keep him alive in space for that long.

///

Freeza awoke and regretted his wish. He howled out his hate and frustration, but it didn’t make a sound in the absence of an atmosphere. The silence pressed in around him.

///

Freeza awoke. According to the scouter, a large ship had passed close by. The distinctive exotic particle trail covered the whole sector. Freeza wondered if his momentum had increased from the hyperdrive drag. The phenomenon was poorly understood and the only certainty was that it would have killed a mortal. According to his scouter, he’d been floating for more than a year.

/// 

Freeza awoke and hoped he’d crash into a planet. Any planet. He didn’t want to find out what would happen if his immortal body got drawn into a sun. He carefully didn’t look at the scouter’s chrono.

///

Freeza awoke to the feeling of falling. His body felt like it was burning and he had a split second to scream before the pain made him whiteout into unconsciousness. Just before he went under, he registered the sound of his scream. It was the first noise he’d heard since his defeat on Namek. That meant _atmosphere_. 

///

Freeza awoke and drew air into his lungs. It was so devastatingly good he gave an embarrassing sob of relief. His species was not meant to be deprived of breath for so long. He lay there breathing and pulling himself back together. For the first time he was grateful for his body’s hibernation cycle. If he’d been awake for the duration of his time in space, it would have cost him his sanity. He knew that with a bleak certainty. 

Without rousing himself from his supine position, Freeza checked his scouter. Four years. It had been four years since Namek. It… could have been much worse. The odds of crashing into a planet in such a short time-span were vanishingly small. He _must_ have been caught in a ship’s hyperdrive wake. There was no other explanation. It also exponentially increased the chance that he’d landed on an occupied planet. An occupied planet with at least one _space-faring_ species. 

Freeza pulled himself up and smirked. He was the strongest being in this galaxy and it would only be a matter of time before he could re-forge his empire. And _this_ time he would have his pet scientists work on something to neutralise any monkey threats. Raw strength was important, but when that didn’t work he could fall back on cunning to defeat an inferior enemy. He had ruled a galactic empire. The monkey had been some backwater warrior, as brutish and dull as the rest of his pathetic species. 

Freeza entered his override code to the scouter, unlocking the high-level data and functions. He scrolled through the contents, hoping that he could at least pinpoint his location, and perhaps get some basic information about the native species. Planet Earth. The name was familiar. 

Freeza sifted through his memory until he pinpointed the name. He stilled. It was the planet that Vegeta and his cohort had visited. The one with Dragon Balls that had sparked the entire Namek mission. It was the home planet of the filthy monkey that would have killed him. 

Freeza’s pulse jumped and he quickly transformed down to his weakest form. It wasn’t easy to make himself _weaker_ while his heart was hammering and visions of that fateful last battle flashed through his mind. But the martial discipline of decades eventually triumphed and he felt his flesh and bones scraping together as they aligned to contain the lower ki level. He automatically cast about for a set of armour, but of course he’d lost his during his final transformation back on Namek and he had none of the resources to replace it. No matter, the protection it afforded him was paltry and, without any of his minions around, its use as a symbol was similarly pointless. 

Next he switched the scouter’s function to read any important energy levels. For a moment Freeza stared at the numbers uncomprehendingly. That couldn’t be… the readings he was getting were orders of magnitude more powerful than his top power level. They must have been stronger than even the monkey had been, when he’d started glowing and had fulfilled Vegeta’s insane prophecy. 

Worse still, there were six _entirely separate_ ki readings at that level. A few of them were grouped together. Some of them weren’t. The highest reading was one of the ungrouped readings. It was somewhere isolated, far from even low-level readings, and it wasn’t moving. At least the majority of this planet’s readings were laughably small. Freeza needed more information so he cautiously made his way toward the source. 

His first thought upon seeing the being with that staggeringly high power level was relief. It wasn’t a monkey. It wasn’t even a mammal at all, but rather an insectoid creature. Perhaps this planet’s native insectoid inhabitants were all responsible for the energy readings on the scouter. Maybe there weren’t any monkeys here at all. Maybe that even explained how some saiyan exile managed to become so powerful. If this sort of power level was _normal_ for these insectoid natives, then there was clearly something for the monkey to aim for.

The creature was standing before some sort of arena in the middle of a sparse wilderness. Only a handful of rock formations interrupted the flat plain. The creature wasn’t moving at all. The stillness was so complete it was eerie. If it weren’t for the power level still registering on the scouter, Freeza would have assumed it was some sort of statue. Or maybe dead. Freeza shivered. 

He approached slowly, keeping to the meagre cover of the rocks. He wasn’t looking to engage with a power level like that, but he was deeply curious. The creature’s utter stillness was also reassuring. It looked like it could stand there indefinitely or until whatever it was waiting for happened. Freeza stilled. He had no idea what it was waiting for, but it was entirely possible that getting closer would produce some sort of response. Wasn’t this the place that Vegeta had learned power-level sensing? Freeza’s heart started beating harder. What if the creature could sense him? He was dampening himself as best he could, but it wasn’t a skill that came naturally. 

It was time to leave, Freeza decided. He’d discovered the source of the highest power reading and he still had five more to check out. In the best-case scenario, the other excessively high readings would turn out to be more of these insectoids. They were completely unfamiliar to Freeza and presumably wouldn’t have any grudges against him. They might make it harder to... commandeer... a ship, but at least he wouldn’t be hunted by rabid monkeys. 

Freeza had only taken two steps away when the insectoid spoke. ‘And you were doing so well. Did you lose your nerve?’

Freeza didn’t have time to flee before the creature practically _appeared_ in front of him. It was so fast. Faster than Freeza himself, faster than the monkey that had defeated him. This wasn’t an opponent he could defeat and, as much as it twisted his insides with rage, Freeza knew he had to pretend he wasn’t a threat. ‘Lose my nerve?’ Freeza repeated carefully. ‘I’m not sure what you mean. I couldn’t tell what you were from a distance, but once I’d solved the mystery I saw no reason to bother you.’

The creature was staring at him, its piercing gaze flicking over his form. It seemed curious, rather than hostile. Freeza desperately hoped he was on a multicultural enough planet that his unique species wouldn’t immediately register as such. 

Though he was wary of antagonising the insectoid, Freeza took the opportunity to study it in turn. The parts of the galaxy he’d seen had an overabundance of sapient mammals. There was something about the hairy, warm-blooded bipedal structure that lent itself to gaining sentience. Often, it seemed, at the expense of intelligence, power and aesthetic. They also tended to _smell_. 

This creature, however, was pure insectoid from the tip of its stinging tail to the top of its wing and head carapaces. But there was also something... off about it. It didn’t move quite right. It didn’t blink as much as it should and it quickly reverted to that total and eerie stillness when it wasn’t doing something deliberate. Those characteristics evoked a memory for Freeza, but he couldn’t quite place it.

‘How... considerate of you,’ the creature said. The tone was mocking enough to set Freeza’s teeth on edge, but he bit his tongue. One look at the scouter was all it took to remind him why. ‘You know, you’re the last person I ever expected to see on Earth. Freeza.’

‘Oh, you’ve heard of me?’ Freeza asked, as casually as he could while his heart rate jumped up.

The creature’s smirk deepened. ‘I know _far_ more about you than mere hearsay. Though I find myself a little disappointed. You were my strongest component, but here I find you sneaking around like a weakling. I wonder why that is?’

Rage pounded like a dull wave at the inside of Freeza’s skull, but the creature’s words about components had solidified the memory that had been nagging at him. ‘You’re not organic, are you? You’re made. Engineered, perhaps.’

The creature inclined its head. ‘Well, you’re not stupid, at least. I am Cell, a synthetic being comprised of the strongest fighters my creator had access to. And I find myself curious about you. You’re the only one of my components that I’ve never fought.’ There was something hungry in Cell’s expression. It was almost familiar, that competitive edge to test a new opponent. 

‘I don’t think that’s necessary,’ Freeza said, hoping that this thing couldn’t sense power levels and the current difference between the two of them.

Cell’s mouth curved up until its expression resembled a smile. The expression had that wrongness about it too. ‘I think it’s _very_ necessary.’ It held up one hand and began to focus its ki. 

‘You’re stronger!’ Freeza blurted in panic. His memories of his defeat at the hands of the monkey were all too fresh and he wanted to avoid the agony of another mortal injury that wouldn’t kill him. ‘You’d win!’

Cell lowered its arm. ‘Interesting. Can you sense my power level?’

Freeza thought quickly. ‘Yes! So there’s no need to fight. I have no quarrel with you, so I’ll leave you to your… activities.’

Cell tilted its head to one side, stilling in the new position as it contemplated Freeza. ‘Hm. I don’t have any quarrel with you either, but I don’t want your presence here distracting Goku.’

Freeza’s insides twisted at the sound of the name. ‘Goku’s here,’ he said distantly, for a moment forgetting the immediate threat before him.

‘Yes. Him, Vegeta, Piccolo. All of my components other than you.’

Fear and rage swept through Freeza in equal measure. It was distracting enough that he nearly didn’t register the list of names as parts of this creature. No wonder it was so strong. ‘I’m going to kill that monkey and everything he loves.’

Cell laughed, the sound stilted and off. ‘An admirable goal and one I share, but unless you’ve got my power, you won’t be able to pull it off. He’s close enough to my level to be an interesting opponent. The rest of my components will probably last for a few interesting minutes before I crush them.’

‘The other high power levels on this planet,’ Freeza deduced. If Cell was a unique creation, those five other power levels had to be the fighters it had mentioned. If the next highest one was Goku, if one of them was that weakling _Vegeta_ , then getting off this planet would be even harder than he’d thought. 

‘Probably,’ said Cell. It raised its arm again. ‘So in the interest of eliminating a distraction, goodbye, Freeza. I’m glad to have seen you in person and you should be glad to be eliminated by someone who contains the best of you. In a way you’ll live on, in a refined, perfect state.’ It sounded entirely earnest. 

‘No! Wait–’ Freeza had just enough time to scream before the massive blast of ki energy slammed into him. 

Freeza blinked. Pain wracked his body. He was lying on the ground. He was on Earth and…

‘Interesting,’ a voice murmured from somewhere above him. Cell. Freeza’s view of the dirt and sky changed as he was lifted up. A wave of dizziness washed over him and he kicked weakly. ‘I’m surprised you managed to survive that.’

One large, oddly smooth hand tightened around Freeza’s throat. He was being held at Cell’s eye-level. He tried to speak, but all he could make was a strained noise. ‘Kkch– ’

‘Maybe you’re ki-resistant,’ Cell mused aloud. ‘No matter.’ Its other hand grabbed Freeza under the chin and his view shifted again. He knew what was coming and he wasn’t healed enough to do anything to stop it. In his last moment he regretted his wish. Again.

‘Okay, that’s just disconcerting,’ was the first thing Freeza heard after regaining consciousness. Cell was speaking again. ‘Even Nameks can’t do that. Not if you rip the head off entirely.’

Freeza struggled to get his burning throat to cooperate. He wondered what form the healing had taken. Had he regrown his head or his body or had they just fused back together? What a grotesque thought. It took him several tries to form actual words. ‘I’m immortal, you oaf,’ he managed to hiss. ‘You can’t kill me.’

Cell was staring down at him. ‘Very interesting. There’s nothing in my database about that.’ Its expression was completely blank for several moments. ‘I don’t… feel immortal. No. Gero would have made sure I was aware if that were the case. The self-preservation instinct is too strong. He wouldn’t have given me pain if it didn’t serve a purpose. Hm.’

Freeza felt strength returning to his limbs. The pain receded, giving him space in his head to actually _think_. ‘You want to kill Goku,’ he said.

Cell glanced back down at him. ‘Yes.’

‘And what will you do afterwards?’ Freeza asked. 

Cell blinked. ‘Destroy the rest of the fighters, I suppose. And then the Earth.’

‘And then what?’

‘And then… what?’ Cell repeated. Its expression went puzzled and then froze like that. Eerie robot.

‘What will you do after you’ve destroyed the Earth?’ Freeza clarified. 

Cell stared down at him. ‘I don’t… I would get stronger? No, I’m perfect. I don’t… you ask a lot of questions for someone lying in the dirt,’ it finally said with a sneer.

Freeza had heard enough. Cell wasn’t looking to compete with him on a galactic scale and that was all that mattered. ‘Fine. Then I’ll get out of your way. I wish you all the best with destroying those monkeys.’ He heaved himself up into a more dignified sitting position and tried to work out if he had the strength to stand yet.

‘I don’t think so,’ said Cell. ‘If I can’t just eliminate you, I’d rather have you close enough to keep an eye on. You might be weak, but I don’t want you running around this world… plotting.’

‘I just want to leave this awful planet,’ Freeza insisted. ‘I’ll be gone. I won’t be the least bit relevant to you or your plans.’

‘Forgive me if I find it hard to trust _you_.’

Freeza scowled. He didn’t think he could stand yet. Plan B it was. ‘It would be pretty hard to interfere with your plans, considering how simplistic and shortsighted they are. I suppose this is just what happens when you make something with too much saiyan in it. Your plan is to _get stronger_? You’re easily the most powerful being in the galaxy and you have no idea what to _do_ with that, do you?’

Cell tilted its head. ‘And I suppose you do?’

‘Galactic conquest! Empire-building! One powerful fighter can take whatever’s in front of them, but only a powerful dictator can be given _whatever they want_. And it’s a trade-off. Ruling an empire requires management and upkeep, but the rewards span every corner of the galaxy.’

‘Whatever I want,’ Cell repeated. ‘Hm.’

‘Yes, exactly! And I have more experience in maintaining an empire than anyone you’ll ever meet.’

‘You’re trying to offer an alliance.’

‘I am.’ Freeza held his breath. He had no idea how Cell’s programming worked, no idea what could appeal to a synthetic creature. He’d conquered civilisations that built machines that were sophisticated enough to pass as organics. Sometimes they’d even been strong enough to meet his army on the battlefield. Freeza had no idea how much of this one was mechanical and how much of it was bioengineered. There was something so irresponsible about creating something as strong as Cell without also creating a way of keeping it under control. Just where was this thing’s creator?

‘Hm.’ Cell stood. ‘I don’t think I’m entirely convinced.’

‘Why wouldn’t I want to ally with you? It’s a genuine offer,’ Freeza insisted. He would wait until Cell was distracted and then sneak away. Then it was only a matter of stealing a ship, rejoining his army and slingshotting this entire system into a black hole.

‘Oh, I mean I’m not convinced about your immortality.’ Cell raised its hand and Freeza immediately raised his own to deflect the attack. It didn’t help.

In some ways it felt longer than the trip from Namek to Earth. The agony of mortal injury, healing and further injury blurred together and distorted Freeza’s sense of time. Eventually he stopped registering the pain as a sensation. Maybe some part of him was shutting down, but if so it was only a relief. Then even that stopped. 

‘Alright, I’m convinced I can’t kill you,’ said Cell. ‘Certainly not by any conventional means. Let’s say that we have an agreement for now. Your immortality makes you… dangerous, but potentially useful.’ 

Freeza lay panting on the ground until he’d recovered most of his strength. ‘Dangerous?’ he finally asked. When no violence was forthcoming he pushed himself up from the ground and staggered to his feet. His _intellect_ made him dangerous, his immortality had only let him survive Cell’s little... experiment. 

‘…Yes,’ Cell said as though there’d been no delay. ‘I’m a threat to you, so you’ll do your utmost to eliminate me. And while you’re laughably weak, you only have to be lucky once.’ 

Freeza gave Cell a wary look. Maybe the creature wasn’t as stupid as its complete lack of a plan suggested. ‘I’d rather be around a potential ally than run into the monkeys alone.’ He could imagine what Vegeta would do to him. Especially once he discovered that Freeza kept coming back to life, no matter what he did. It would make Cell’s dispassionate attempts to kill him look merciful. Freeza shuddered. It was unnatural being weaker than _Vegeta_.

Cell turned and walked back toward the arena. After a moment Freeza shrugged and followed it. There wasn’t much else for him to do while it was paying attention to him.

Several hours later, Cell was still standing as motionless as a rock. Freeza had long ago sat down on the edge of the arena. He’d held his peace, but Cell still hadn’t _done_ anything and Freeza was getting hungry. ‘What exactly are you waiting for?’ he finally asked. 

‘For the tournament to start,’ Cell said without moving anything other than its face. ‘I’m calling it the Cell Games.’

‘Alright,’ Freeza said, ‘and when do these Cell Games start?’

‘In five days.’

Freeza stood up. ‘What!?’

‘In five days, three hours and thirty two minutes, to be precise.’

‘And you’re just going to stand here until then?’

‘ _We’re_ going to stand here until they begin,’ Cell corrected.

Freeza rolled his eyes. Cell still hadn’t even turned to face him. ‘Don’t you need to eat? Sleep?’

Cell finally glanced down at him. ‘I used to eat. Then I became perfect and lost the need. It feels like I haven’t thought about hunger in such a long time. It was an interesting sensation, but I’m glad I don’t have it anymore. I’m less distracted from what’s important. I don’t sleep.’

Freeza’s plan to sneak away was starting to look untenable. ‘Well I do. And I require food. You can stand here all you like, but I’m going to find something to eat.’

Cell turned its body to face Freeza fully. ‘No, I’m not having you run off. Besides, what if you run into Goku?’ it asked with a smirk.

Freeza scowled. ‘I’m organic and unlike you I need food to function. If we’re to be allies, then maybe you should accompany me.’

Cell cast a look back at the arena. For the fist time it looked uncomfortable. ‘I think we should wait for the tournament to begin.’

Freeza shook his head in slow disbelief. ‘The tournament is five days from now. There’s time to eat, sleep and probably conquer half this forsaken planet!’

Cell looked between Freeza and the arena. ‘Fine. I’ll accompany you to get food for your pathetic organic frame. I trust you’re strong enough to fly?’

‘Of course,’ Freeza spat. What kind of weakling couldn’t _fly_? _Children_ could fly.

Freeza felt an odd pang of nostalgia when he caught his first glimpse of this planet’s civilisation. The feeling only intensified when the natives ran screaming as he and Cell touched down in the middle of a crowded population centre. The natives all appeared to be mammals. It figured.

‘So, are you going to catch one?’ Cell asked him.

‘What for?’ Freeza asked. He was here for food, not entertainment.

‘To eat.’

Freeza recoiled. ‘They’re _sapients_.’

‘So? They’re full of that chemical energy you organics seem to need.’

‘That’s, _urgh_ ,’ Freeza couldn’t even begin to explain it to some bizarre synthetic. ‘There’s bound to be proper food in a population centre this big. I hardly need to _catch my own_.’

Cell shrugged. ‘Suit yourself.’

Freeza gave it one last disgusted look and found the nearest building that looked like a food dispensary. He followed the usual rules for eating food on a strange planet and stuck to things that looked and smelled like meat. Plant matter was far more likely to contain toxins compared to flesh. There was always a chance of infection, even after a universal inoculation regimen, but that was also less likely on a largely mammalian planet. He’d have been much warier on a reptile-inhabited planet. 

Cell stood in the entryway of the dispensary and watched him. It was a little disconcerting, but Freeza tried not to notice. ‘But you have a tail,’ Cell finally said.

Freeza turned to eye it. ‘Yes. So do you. What of it?’

The corner of Cell’s mouth curved up into that not-quite-a-real-smile and it didn’t say anything further.

It was getting cold and dark by the time Freeza finished eating. He decided that it was definitely time to sleep. The hibernation cycles he’d endured in space hardly counted as _rest_ and he was keen to experience a bed again. For the first time since landing on this planet, he began to feel almost normal. 

‘There, you’ve eaten. We’re going back to the arena,’ said Cell.

‘I am not sleeping in the open in the middle of the wilderness,’ Freeza said flatly. ‘There are _days_ before your tournament, you stupid robot!’

‘Android,’ the robot corrected absently. ‘I could always kill you again and take your corpse back with me for when you revive.’ 

A jolt of fear hit Freeza. Cell pointed out the possibility so casually it was barely a threat, just one of the options it was weighing. Freeza knew what it was like to be powerful enough to simply do as he pleased, but Cell’s disregard went deeper than that. It really didn’t _care_ about things like slaughtering an immortal ally or eating sapients or simply standing completely still in the middle of an open plain for five days. There was something fascinating about it that dragged at Freeza’s attention. Cell could be reasoned with, it was clearly a person in its own right, it was just… different, _other_ , in a way Freeza never encountered even in the most exotic aliens. _They_ all still needed to consume, even if it was only water or rocks, they all had an instinctive taste for things like warmth or cool or comfort. What did Cell need? What did it _want_?

‘You could, but why encourage needless animosity between us?’ said Freeza. ‘Like I said, we have the time. Would you really achieve anything standing at the edge of the arena that you couldn’t achieve standing anywhere else?’

Cell narrowed its eyes as it thought this over. ‘I suppose not. I also know that you’re just waiting for an opportunity to stab me in the back. So there’s really no need for you to keep pretending we’re allies.’

The tip of Freeza’s tail twitched. ‘Why would I try and kill the only protection I have on this planet? You’re safe from me as long as you’re useful.’

Cell laughed. The movement bared the unnaturally smooth line of its neck for a moment and Freeza found himself staring. ‘ _I’m_ safe from _you_? Oh, that’s cute. You know, I’ve been thinking of how to eliminate you too. Some of the more exotic _tests_ I could run.’

Freeza stood his ground, stamping down hard on the shiver of dread that rose in him. ‘You won’t be able to,’ he said quickly, ‘no matter what you do.’

‘I even considered consuming you,’ Cell continued as if Freeza hadn’t spoken. ‘But you’re already a part of me and that would make it… how did you put it? _Urgh_.’ It managed to mimic Freeza’s disgusted noise almost perfectly. That was disconcerting, but it was also interesting that Cell had a concept of disgust. Freeza wondered what other similarities there were. Just how organic was it?

‘I’m going to find somewhere to sleep,’ Freeza asserted, looking for a way to shift the topic away from more attempts to kill him.

Cell tilted its head. It didn’t blink nearly often enough. ‘Alright. Lead the way.’

Freeza straightened his spine and strode in the direction of the nearest cluster of buildings and ignored the itch between his shoulders where he was sure Cell’s gaze was boring into his back. He found a suitably palatial building that resembled a dwelling a short walk from the food dispensary. This was clearly an important district in the population centre. The building was as deserted as the rest of the place, but it had thick carpets, a sweeping staircase and an overabundance of lighting. 

Freeza stomped up the staircase and ripped open the first likely looking door. There was a large bed, a small table and chairs and another door off to one side that led to whatever passed as hygiene facilities on this planet. The next couple of doors he tried led to nearly identical set-ups. He shrugged and picked one at random. Cell entered behind him, looking curiously around the room.

‘I’m going to cleanse and then I’m going to sleep. I suppose you can find a nice corner to stand in and wait for the tournament,’ Freeza said, making his way into the hygiene room. It looked like the washing facilities used _water_ for cleansing. Freeza’s lip curled. How barbaric. 

‘You know, I _can_ recognise when you’re mocking me. Does it occur to you just how dangerous that is?’ 

‘Like you said, I only have to be lucky once. You’re powerful, but _you’re_ not immortal.’ The full stomach and the prospect of cleansing and sleep had done wonders for Freeza’s mood. Even the threat of mortal pain was dim now that he was in a more civilised setting. He was also pretty sure he was safe from Cell at least until after the tournament. The taunting had been second nature to Freeza and if Cell was really taking exception, it would have done something to retaliate by now.

Freeza cleansed himself under the spray of water (at least this primitive species had worked out how to pump _hot_ water) and thought about how to deal with his present situation. For now Freeza _needed_ the protection Cell provided. He was not used to being around anyone stronger than himself and as disconcerting as it was, it was also… interesting. Cell was powerful, unique and there was something intriguing about how utterly alien it was. How organic was Cell? It didn’t eat or sleep, but what about _other_ fundamental urges?

Freeza paused for a moment. That could be one way to try and find something the android _wanted_. Cell had to be able to get something pleasant out of life beyond simple combat. Getting it to associate Freeza with pleasure would be a real achievement. This wouldn’t stop him planning the creature’s demise, but this was a reasonable plan B.

Freeza was more than happy to let other people do his fighting for him. He was a strategist, not a tactician, and Cell clearly needed direction. The situation would need delicate handling, but they could reach an equilibrium, even a true alliance, perhaps. 

The water was beginning to feel unpleasant, even if it was warm, and Freeza shut it off. As he dried himself on one of the large cloths he planned his approach. When Freeza emerged, Cell was indeed standing in a corner, arms folded. ‘Have you ever had an ally before?’ Freeza asked.

Cell tilted its head. ‘No. Androids Seventeen and Eighteen should have been my allies, but they defied the will of our creator.’

‘So what did you do?’

‘I consumed them.’ Cell gave a thin smile. The expression held just enough malice to almost look correct.

‘And what about your creator?’ Freeza asked. He already suspected the answer.

‘Dead.’

‘By your hand?’ 

‘No.’ Cell’s expression was blank, but in a way that suggested it was controlling itself rather than simply not feeling. Interesting. And not what Freeza had expected.

‘So you’ve been alone? For how long?’ he pressed.

‘Since I emerged. And I know what you’re doing.’

‘I’m learning about you. Information is _useful_ ,’ Freeza explained.

‘Hm.’ That seemed to mollify it somewhat. 

‘I’ve also been wondering exactly how mechanical or organic you are.’

Cell unfolded its arms and took a step forward. ‘I’m entirely bioengineered, not mechanical. But I’m more than that. I’m flesh capable of integrating other biological and semi-biological matter. Ki energy is woven into the very fabric of what I am. I am flesh that has attained _perfection_.’ 

Freeza closed the distance between them and floated up until they were eye-to-eye. Reminding himself that he was immortal, he reached out and stroked the tips of his fingers down the side of Cell’s jaw. ‘You’re certainly unique.’

Cell twitched at the touch and blinked a few times. Then it reached out and wrapped a hand around Freeza’s wrist. The grip wasn’t harsh, but it was implacable. The reminder of their power difference made Freeza clench his teeth. ‘What exactly do you think you’re going to achieve?’ Cell asked.

‘I think I’m going to sate my curiosity.’

‘You’re trying to manipulate me, aren’t you?’ Cell accused.

‘No,’ Freeza lied.

Cell released his wrist. ‘So you’re interested in this for its own sake, then?’ Cell asked, staring directly into Freeza’s eyes. ‘Interested in _me_?’

‘Yes. You’re powerful and you’re intriguing. It’s really just a bonus that you have none of those repugnant mammalian features.’ The flattery was sincere enough, even though Freeza knew he wouldn’t be propositioning his supposed ally without good reason. If Cell was capable of enjoying sex, that would be useful.

‘In that case, it won’t bother you that you’ll be unable to reciprocate with me. My creator didn’t deem it necessary to include reproductive organs in my design.’ Cell continued to stare at Freeza as it spoke and the corner of its mouth curled up as it finished speaking.

Freeza gaped. What kind of… had this thing’s creator only ever intended to design a fighter? Then what was the point of giving it a personality, emotions or free will? ‘Does anything other than fighting give you any kind of pleasure at all?’ Freeza asked incredulously. 

Cell blinked and then shrugged a moment later. ‘I used to enjoy consuming. Or maybe I just enjoyed fixing the hunger. It’s hard to tell.’

While Freeza was calculating the rapidly fading odds of being able to manipulate Cell with sex, a new goal started to emerge. ‘Like I said, I’m interested in you for your own sake,’ said Freeza, ‘and more curious still after that little revelation of yours. I wonder what _will_ work on you.’

Cell smiled. ‘Funny, I was thinking much the same about you.’

Freeza hesitated, reminded of the fact that bits of Cell _came from him_. How much of that power was from him? Even if it had a strange inability to _plan_ , it did have a measure of familiar cunning and a sense of malice and cruelty that Freeza readily identified. That curiosity couldn’t possibly have come from one of the monkeys. 

Freeza reached out again and Cell didn’t stop him this time. His fingertips traced the interface between the armoured parts of Cell’s face and the smoother more vulnerable-looking areas closer to its eyes. Cell didn’t twitch, didn’t blink. It might as well have been carved from stone. ‘Can you feel that?’ Freeza asked.

Cell considered for a moment. ‘Yes. More than if you’d been pressing harder, I think. That’s… odd.’

It was made of flesh, so it had to have something like nerves and nerves meant different thresholds of sensation. Freeza knew a lot about nerves, though mostly in the context of inflicting pain. ‘That’s normal. You’re powerful enough that you’re going to reflexively use your ki to protect yourself against a threatening level of force. This on the other hand…’ 

Freeza trailed his fingertips down Cell’s jaw and traced the tendons in its neck. This time something flickered in Cell’s expression and it tilted its head ever so slightly in response. Considering how little it generally moved, the signal must have been deliberate. 

‘Where are you vulnerable?’ Freeza asked. Cell gave him an amused look. Freeza rolled his eyes. ‘Those are the most sensitive, and therefore useful, places to start. If I was prying for information to use against you I’d be more subtle.’

‘I don’t _have_ vulnerabilities. I’m perfect.’

Freeza growled under his breath. Of course this couldn’t have been _easy_. He grabbed Cell’s wrist and after the barest hesitation put its hand against the side of his neck. ‘Blood flow to the brain and breath and not much muscle to get in the way.’ Freeza pulled Cell’s hand further down to his torso. ‘Nerve cluster controlling my arm.’ Further down. ‘Major blood vessel, close to the surface. And of course…’ One last tug brought Cell’s hand to the juncture of his legs.

Cell had been staring intently as it let itself be directed. Its focus sharpened and Freeza supressed a shiver as those strangely smooth fingertips glided against his outer plates. ‘The flesh is different here,’ Cell observed.

‘Yes,’ Freeza hissed. It wouldn’t take much coaxing to get his outer plates to shift and leave him bare, but he didn’t want the distraction right now. Not when he might be getting somewhere with Cell. ‘And all those areas are sensitive because of how important they are. So how does it work with _you_?’

Cell actually seemed to consider the question seriously this time. ‘My eyes, I suppose. They’re necessarily delicate. My mouth and hands have a lot of fine control. I don’t use my wings for flying, of course, but the layers under the outer casing retain some… vulnerability.’

Freeza nodded encouragingly. That was hardly a great revelation, but it gave him a starting point, at least. ‘Good.’ He wrapped a hand around Cell’s arm and held it up and out, exposing the palm. He dragged his nails lightly along the surface, from Cell’s wrist to its fingertips. Cell made a noise that wasn’t quite words and drew its hand back. ‘Too much?’ Freeza asked with a smirk. 

The corner of Cell’s mouth lifted in response. ‘Not quite.’ With no warning it started backing them both toward the bed. Its strength was completely inexorable and even though Freeza’s ki was already active to keep him floating, he knew there was no way to stand against that kind of power. 

Freeza bared his teeth. ‘What exactly are you playing at?’ he demanded. He was hovering above the bed now and Cell was between him and the door. 

‘I’m a little more interested in you than your little… plans.’

‘Little plans?! At least I have plans and goals. At least _I_ can see beyond the immediacy of “destroy the Earth, maybe?”, you synthetic _robot_.’

‘Android,’ Cell corrected, narrowing its eyes. ‘And you want to talk about goals? I think this probably counts.’ It punctuated its statement by dragging a hand down Freeza’s torso. It followed the path Freeza had pointed out, paying special attention to the clusters of nerves and blood vessels. Cell paused at the juncture between Freeza’s legs, its hand pressing firmly against Freeza’s outer plates. 

Freeza shivered. He hadn’t let go of Cell’s arm and now his nails dug into that hard flesh reflexively. He couldn’t stop himself from pressing against Cell’s hand. Freeza felt his plates shifting at Cell’s insistent touch and moments later they parted. The flesh beneath was flushed and the chill of the air against his most sensitive parts made Freeza shudder. 

Cell leaned in closer. ‘Interesting,’ it breathed. Its fingers slipped over the outside of the harder outer plate and traced down the slick surface of Freeza’s inner plates.

‘Careful,’ Freeza bit out. His nails dug into Cell’s arm harder, but it didn’t seem to notice.

‘ _Very_ interesting,’ Cell murmured as Freeza’s tendrils wrapped themselves around its fingers. It pulled away, gently enough to not cause any damage. 

Freeza’s control over his ki faltered for a moment and he dropped onto the bed. Cell regarded him and then knelt on the bed. Any thoughts of turning this situation to his long-term advantage were rapidly spinning away from Freeza. It had been far too long since he’d had anything resembling this kind of pleasure. If Cell was curious enough about sex as something beyond its capacity to experience, then that still suited Freeza’s short-term goals very well indeed.

‘Put your hand back,’ Freeza commanded.

‘What’s it like?’ Cell asked, a strange note in its voice as it stroked its fingertips back down to Freeza’s plates and extrusions. 

Freeza gave a shaky exhale as pleasure coiled between his legs, then gave a breathless little laugh at Cell’s question. ‘Do you even have a concept of pleasure to compare to? It feels good, it creates a craving for more, it’s almost like relief, but better, more like–’ he cut off for a moment as a particularly strong pulse of pleasure forced a noise from his throat. ‘Like that,’ he ordered. ‘Press lightly right there and move… move against the line of the plate, _yes_.’

Cell took instruction well. It seemed fascinated, alternately staring at Freeza’s face and what its own hand was doing between Freeza’s legs. It had stopped blinking entirely. Freeza shifted until he could press his back against the wall beside the bed and Cell let itself be dragged along too. The extra support was welcome as Freeza’s legs were ready to collapse out from under him. 

He’d almost forgotten how _good_ this could be. Someone else’s unpredictable touch, the harsh race toward relief and that faint edge of danger that he’d never felt more strongly. 

Cell braced itself against the wall behind Freeza with its free arm. Its presence was overwhelming, nearly stifling, with how large and alien it was. Freeza forced his eyes to stay open, not that it would help if Cell turned on him. All he could do was stare at that closed expression and feel the hand working against his flesh.

A particularly deft touch had Freeza gasping and sinking his nails deep into the wall behind him. Cell leaned in closer to observe the reaction and Freeza reached out with his other hand to grab onto the back of Cell’s neck. Its flesh was hard and smooth beneath Freeza’s hand, and Cell blinked for the first time in minutes when Freeza’s grip tightened. ‘Keep… keep going,’ Freeza managed to pant. He was so close he could feel his own pulse against his plates. 

Cell looked more fascinated than smug and it kept its rhythm mechanically steady. It was perfect. Freeza’s jaw clenched as he came. He extricated the hand he had buried in the wall so he could clench it into a fist and slam it back behind him. The shock of it wasn’t precisely painful, but it radiated up his arm and ran up against the feeling of pleasure washing through his body to make it better.

Cell kept touching him throughout and Freeza blinked slowly as his thoughts gradually became coherent. He could feel his body lazily shifting back to a non-aroused state. The slide of his outer plates against each other was a good sensation all of its own. 

‘Did that hurt?’ Cell asked, tilting its head to one side. 

‘Hm? No. Even at my full strength I can’t hurt myself with a simple impact.’

Cell blinked. ‘I meant the sex in general. Your reaction was rather… strong. I’ve mostly seen that kind of response in the middle of a fight.’

Freeza snorted. ‘Dealing with any kind of intense sensation is going to look about the same. From the outside, at least.’ He stretched out his shoulders and neck and tried to keep the calculation out of his expression. ‘Now, if you’ve finished indulging your curiosity, perhaps you’re interested in finding out if your body does anything… similar.’

Cell blinked and Freeza didn’t miss the way it curled its fingers to run its nails over its own palm. ‘Perhaps,’ it finally said and sat back so it was no longer crowding Freeza against the wall.

Freeza leaned forward a little cautiously. He reached out and took Cell’s wrist again. Cell let him, its expression unnaturally still and completely unreadable. ‘Is this pleasant?’ Freeza asked and dragged his nails down Cell’s palm and over its wrist. 

Cell’s fingers twitched inward. ‘I’m not… sure,’ it said. 

Freeza let his nails explore up the inside of Cell’s arm. He caressed or pressed in harder against the outer edges of Cell’s more insectile armoured parts, looking for reactions. Occasionally Cell would offer stilted comments about things that were more or less effective. Cell’s torso was no more sensitive than its arms or legs, apparently. Instead of skin it had a hard carapace between its legs. It wasn’t sensitive, but Freeza kept expecting to find something like outer plates beneath the smooth surface or even the least hint of some sort of separation. It was entirely unnatural and Freeza soon turned his attention elsewhere. 

The face and especially the areas around the jaw, lips and eyes were more promising. Cell reacted to being touched like that, but it was nearly impossible to caress it there without catching that intense gaze. A new idea eventually occurred to Freeza. ‘Lie down on your front,’ he said casually.

Cell gave him a long look. ‘Why?’

‘So I can touch your wings properly. You said they were delicate.’

Cell frowned, but after a moment of stillness it shrugged and stretched out on its front. The glossy black elytra fanned out for a moment and then resettled. The movement was far more compelling than it had any right to be and Freeza simply stared at Cell’s exotic form for a moment before he swung himself over the back of Cell’s thighs. There was something rather heady about having Cell beneath him like this, even if its power levels were still absurdly high compared to Freeza’s own. ‘Can you fan your wings again and leave them spread?’ Freeza asked. 

Cell did as instructed, baring thin translucent wings folded beneath the outer carapace. Freeza touched them gently, wondering at the crinkly plastic feel of them against his fingertips. ‘Can you feel that?’ he asked.

‘Feel what?’ Cell asked.

‘I’m touching your wings. The thinner ones. And that’s a no, then.’

‘Hm.’

‘Can you fan those ones away too?’

Cell sighed, but did as it was instructed again. The flesh beneath both sets of wings wasn’t quite the same as the rest of Cell’s skin and no hint of a spine showed. Freeza pressed two fingers to the middle of Cell’s back, right where its wings would ordinarily meet, and ran them firmly down in a straight line.

Cell made a very interesting noise and pushed itself up on its elbows. ‘What was… do that again,’ it ordered. 

Freeza smirked and repeated the motion, this time adding in a hint of his nails. Cell shuddered beneath him, the most telling response it had ever given him. ‘Do you like that?’ Freeza asked smugly.

‘I… honestly don’t know. It feels… it’s more intense than any pain I’ve ever felt. It’s not even bad, just. It’s a lot. Do it again.’

Freeza traced random patterns against Cell’s back, pressing harder sometimes, scratching with his nails or even drawing back to use the lightest touch he could. Cell shivered and jolted beneath him. Then suddenly, without any kind of provocation, it twisted around and grabbed Freeza’s wrists. It moved so fast that Freeza barely registered what was happening until he felt himself being pushed back against the wall.

Freeza didn’t try to pull away, knew that it would be an even greater humiliation to try and fail. He wondered if Cell would even notice an attempt. Frustrated rage twisted through him.

‘What,’ Freeza hissed.

Cell’s expression was completely blank. ‘Nothing. I’ve had enough. It’s… hm. I can’t even decide if I liked the sensation or not.’

Freeza’s lip curled. ‘Let me go, you pathetic excuse for an organic.’

Cell blinked, looking at where it was pinning Freeza’s wrists against the wall. It seemed surprised and slowly slackened its grip. ‘Well, an interesting experiment nonetheless.’

Freeza rubbed his wrists and scowled at Cell. ‘I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,’ he said sourly.

‘I wasn’t the only one,’ Cell said carelessly. ‘Do you think you’ll compete in the Cell Games?’

Freeza stared at it. ‘No.’

‘You’ll probably find them boring as a spectator.’

‘Not if they involve you killing those wretched monkeys, I won’t.’

‘It will. None of them are strong enough to stand against me, even with the extra training time I gave them,’ Cell said with a grin.

Freeza shook his head slowly. ‘Extra training time…? You definitely have too much saiyan in you. You’re lucky you have someone as intelligent as me around.’ A thought occurred to Freeza. ‘Where’s your ship? And no, this isn’t a ploy of mine to steal it first. You’re too fast and don’t sleep.’

‘Ship?’

‘Spaceship. To get off this planet when you destroy it.’

Cell blinked. ‘I can survive space,’ it said after a moment. ‘I _am_ perfect.’

Freeza gaped. ‘And how would a so-called perfect being like you get anywhere relevant under your own power? Can you _teleport_ or something?’ he scoffed.

Cell was still for a long moment. ‘I can get around this planet quickly enough.’

‘You have no clue about the distance between planets, between star systems, do you?’ He wasn’t even mocking it. This was just pure incredulity.

‘Well… there’s still time before the Cells Games. It won’t be hard to just take a ship. The humans are all terrified of me.’

‘Do you know how to pilot a ship?’ Freeza asked.

Cell sighed. ‘You don’t have to try and prove your worth. I’m not going to waste my time trying to kill an immortal. Unless you annoy me and I decide it’s _fun_.’

Freeza scowled. ‘Just remember that you need me.’

‘Not half as much as you need me.’

Cell was right, for now, so Freeza didn’t bother retorting. He’d never had a subordinate that was stronger than him, but if he managed to twist this situation just right, that was what he’d end up with. It was a pity that the Earth’s Dragon Balls had been destroyed, and likely the Namek ones along with the planet. All he had to claw his way back to power was his intellect and immortality. It would be enough. It would have to be and there was no reason not to enjoy having Cell tie up the loose ends on this backwater planet.

Cell got off the bed and went to stand in a corner. It folded its arms and looked down at Freeza. It didn’t move again. Freeza sighed to himself and got under the bed covers. As annoying as it was to have some damn robot standing sentinel at his bed, Freeza could admit that he was looking forward to watching it destroy his enemies. Maybe it would draw out the kills if he asked nicely.


End file.
